First and foremost, say "You know" a lot, at every corner of your sentences, you know? See how I just did it? It's quite easy, you know?

Now with the accent: "Ya knaaaaw..."

Alright. You're one step closer to speak Duff, ya knaaaw...

Then add "yeah" or "yah" whenever you can.

Lesson 1

Basic vocabulary:use preferably words with more than two syllables.

- condone
- chemistry
- mundane
- tangible
- multi-faceted
- universal
- cohesive: often used as "Cohesive Unit"
- atonement
- correlation
- defeatism
...

Use basic vocabulary to build sentence, and decorate with a few expletives in between words.

Example "It's fucking universally condoned, ya knaaaw?!"

Lesson 2

Some Duff colloquialisms:

- "Right" : used as "That's right". Pronounced "Thassrite!" Meaning: this is true.

- "Killer": used as "It's killer." Pronounced "killaah." Meaning: great.

- "Rock". Used as "I go rock." Pronounced "raaawwk." Meaning: refers to Duff's professional activity.

- "Dick". Used as "My dick gets/doesn't go hard". Meaning: satisfying, enjoyable, or not.

- "Power to ones". Used as "Power to me/to you". Pronounced "paawer ta meeh/ ta ya". Meaning: words of empowerments.

- "Cramp my style". Pronounced "cramp mah style" Mainly used back in the 90's. Teacher Chloe still can't remember what it exactly means, but I think it means "bringing down Duff". In fact, it doesn't really matter, because it doesn't have to mean anything, or relate to anything you are trying to formulate.

- "In the pocket". Used as "I play deep in the pocket." Pronounced "paacket". Meaning: once again, a tough one to explain. Languists have debated the meaning of it, and concluded it refers to his bass playing.

- "To knock something off". Used as "Knock it off!" Pronounced "Knaack i' off!!". Meaning: shut up, spouse.

More collaquialisms in further lessons.

Lesson 3

Delivery: take long pause in between fragments of sentences.

Example:
So Duff ya wanna go do somethin?
Duff: Uh....(crickets chirping)....................like may beh a moovay, uhh like...............(jeopardy music palying) uh yeah

Lesson 4

Pronounciation. (translation provided by name in parenthesis)

- no = naah.
- yes = yeah.
- baby = babe-aay
- movie = moov-aay
- alley = alle-yah
- memory = memor-aay
- suck = sack (also: success = sack-cess)
- so = suuuh
- attitude = att'tew
- Whore = hoe-aahh (Erica)
- Floor = flooo-ahhh (Erica)
- gone = gawn (Rosie)
- try = twy (Mistress)
- Can't = Caiyn't (Rosie)
- man = mai-an (Mistress)
- Position = posssissson (Rosie)
- happy = hapaaay (Mistress)
Call on all the Duff languists to give more examples!

Advanced course

Now for the advance class, add The Slurring. It's not easy to master, but training and diligence might get you there.

Example:

"It's the story of a man" = "Isssto'a-ay'ow'ahma-ain"

The more words you can fit in 5 somehow distinct syllables max, the better.

Learn to do an interview in Duff

Learn how to do an interview like Duff:

1) First throw in a very obscure analogy, profound and meaningful only to you because none of us poor mortals know what the hell you're talking about. Then repeat it a lot, because you think it sounded cool, and profound enough.

Example: " Deep pocket" in the Bass Player interview.

I play more back in the pocket with Matt now. The songs that we’ve written aren’t extremely difficult to play, but the most important part about them is that they all have this deep pocket, the deepest pocket I’ve ever played in. It’s important for me to be in the pocket; if I’m not, then it’s all going to fall apart. It’s all about the groove, man.

2) Use big words. Like, "intangible". Or "correlation". Or "condone". Or " defeatism" or...

3) Very important rule: always find a way of saying that you do martial arts now, that you're a martial artist and so on. If possible, throw in that you converted Scott and Dave as well. Oh, and that you are sober. A few sports metaphors are always welcomed.

4) If you're going to reference your old GnR days, try to stick to the same anecdote. For instance, the "not remembering where I toured except for the stamps in my passport." It's a popular one, it's effective, so don't try to think of another story.

Also: describe yourself and your ex-bandmates as "sea-urchins".

5) Find also a way to acknowledge your love for Queen of the Stone Age, Foo Fighters, Jane's Addiction and the Refused. If not asked directly by the interviewer, try a way to sneak it in regardless.

6) Refer to your sexual activities or lack there-of as often and as in details as you can. Never be afraid of too much TMI. Basic bodily functions may be addressed as well.

7) Finally, don't forget to swear now and then, a good "fucking" expletive never hurt anyone, and of course, the "yaa knaaawww"

Advanced course #2

Different degrees of Duff fatigue.

To refer to his martial arts teacher, depending on the hour of the day, and number of months he's been talking about it, you might use:

- Kickboxing world champion
- Sensei
- Kung-fu guy

Advanced Lesson #3

Intonation. Try to stress the wrong sylable as much as you can.

Example (stress syllable is underlined):

" SShuh me the timah" = Show me the timer.

" I'm the one getting business done"

" What you wrote realaay hurt mah feelings "

For more on this topic, check out the instructional video aka. Sliders episode: Stoker. It's a Duff classic.

Audio Examples

It's just me and the ski - Listen

I played baseball for 10 years - Listen

It's like a disaster - Listen

Big dogs! Big dogs! Big dogs! - Listen

And the ever famous Duff giggle!! - Listen